Lacking Common Sense or Scared Senseless?

This has recently become a fear of mine concerning my children. Either way I figure it probably isn't a good thing. Let me start with what happened earlier in the day... I will spare you of the details but it involved, Brody, poop and a very angry mother which I am still not sure if the room she was cleaning was actually more messy then the anger or not. In any case my children were witnessed to a bit of ugliness today which resulted in Brody losing video games, just even typing that I had to take VIDEO games away from my 2.5 year old makes me shudder. In any case Gage just came downstairs and this was our conversation...

Gage: Mom, Brody is playing video games and he isn't listening

Mom: Who plugged the video games back in

Gage: They didn't

Mom: Well how is he playing video games then

Gage: I don't know he just is

Mom: Well, someone would have had to have plugged them back in because I unplugged everything

Gage: Oh, right, I forgot, Never mind

And he walks back upstairs. Now we all know the children that seem to lack any common sense at all, which is kind of what I feared maybe happening at this point. Not that it is ever the innocent child that I worry about but it is more that they make others wonder just exactly what kind of parents they might have. So I walked upstairs to take a peak for myself and there Brody sits with his video game controller trying to plug it into anything that looked the least bit like it may help him achieve his quest. Considering this was the picture this morning when Aubriel could not get a free minute of mine to help her change batteries, when I was cleaning poop of course thus Brody. I am thinking that it maybe the latter in my children's case. Which might also be why Brody's accomplice in the poop incident may have been willing to witness the whole thing without even a breath whispered to mom for fear she may get blown down in the path of the storm that ensued once the poop cover child emerged. I know, my child is naked quite a bit, and believe me I have heard from many that we should keep him clothed, my husband included and I have to agree that is a wonderful idea. Speaking of common sense! I just really have to wonder if people honestly believe that we just haven't thought to try this yet. I would invite anyone to take Brody for a while just to experience the real joys of parenting. It is like breaking a wild pony and I am convinced he will not be tamed. Had I known I had it so easy with my first three I think I would have tried to enjoy them more. As soon as I find one the baby straight jacket will be added to my top ten list of "must haves". I am ready to put his clothes on with duct tape at this point.

My Top Ten Baby Items

As I said I know quite a few women expecting or that recently had babies so I have been inspired to share my top ten favorite baby items. It has always amazed me with the plethora of things they have for babies these days and yet many of us still survived. What is worse when I had my first few children I actually bought some these items that seemed like they would be wonderful and they just weren't. So now after having five babies I feel I have weeded out many of the things that were completely useless and are left with a few items that have been "must haves" for me. Unfortunately most of the items took me several children to discover which is why I thought I would share my findings.

10. Teething Necklace Can also be found Here

Now, I never had babies that were overly crabby while teething so perhaps this would not be the best thing for those that really suffer but then again maybe it would be. But I do not like to give my children chemical products of any kind so I was never big on the orajel and such. The teething toys contain many chemicals as well and always seem hard for them to hold. But the teething necklace is completely natural, can benefit them simply by having it next to their skin and looks beautiful to boot! Actually all of my children wear one most of the time even at age 9 since they are so stylish as well!

9. Cozy Cocoon Can also be found HereThis is one of the best things. They take up much less space than blankets, so much easier to use and lets be honest, only those labor and delivery nurses can do the "baby bundle wrap" so that they can't kick their way out. I swear there is some secret wrap that is only taght in nursing school. Gage always called this Brody's coconut!

8. BabyLegs Can also be found Here

Not only are these TOO cute but they have endless uses for all ages. They help keep baby's legs warm under pants, you know when you pick up your baby and their pants ride up exposing the skin between the cuff and the sock... not with babylegs on. They cushion knees while crawling. They add style when used over tights, keeps legs warm while dancing or doing gymnastics. Can be worn under short sleeve shirts... even my older kids use them for this. Gosh I think these have more uses than I can even list. All the kids love them and wear them often!

7. Dr. Bronners
Okay I have no picture, come on it's soap. I suppose I could have put up a picture of one of the kids having a bath since this is all any of us use but honestly I don't bathe my kids that often. In any case this stuff ROCKS! Anything you can clean your kitchen with, wash your kids with and brush your teeth with is a must have in my house. This is all I use for cleaner for anything in my house, living or non living. Even the most natural of baby products contain chemicals that do not benefit anyone. This is completely natural and perfectly fine if it is swallowed or absorbed through the skin. With each child I have tried to bathe my babies less and less since it is not good to wash our natural oils away but when I do I have to have something completely eatable.

6. Bouncy Seat

I think this may be the only thing I had when I had Kain that is still a must have for me. Of course I don't have any pictures of him in his. I did have a swing for my babies but I think Aubriel was the ONLY one that liked it... maybe swinging is a girl thing? So with every baby I would set it up and they would never use it. But the bouncy seat they all loved. It is perfect, you can bring it in the bathroom while you shower, you can set it on the counter when you are cooking and it can keep them from getting stepped on when you have other children running around. We actually like ours so much we keep one upstairs and down. And of course the one I happened to find a picture of is NOT our favorite, this babies or ours. We got this one thinking it would be "better" because it can be used longer (again something we learned is that just because it can be used for a longer amount of time does NOT make it better, we have found it is actually more useless) but this seat is larger and just seems to not hug the babies like the hammock style ones... like in the link.

5. Bundle Me This was the best thing for our Wisconsin winters. I had one with each baby for their infant car seat, even Kain and of course no picture. It was SO much easier than trying to stuff them into a snow suit for every outing and then try to strap them in their seat while they are completely immovable on top of that!

4. Birthing Pool

Okay this isn't exactly a "baby" product as much as a birthing product and I also did not use the fancy one listed, mine as you can see, were blow up kiddy pools (I honestly don't think the others are worth the extra money either, IMO) BUT after giving birth 5 times twice out of the water and 3 times in water I could never imagine NOT being in the water for another birth. I have spoken to some women that enjoyed laboring in water but wanted to get out to actually give birth but not me. The water helped a TON with pain management and I believe made an incredibly peaceful birth for my babies. I think every baby of mine born into the water cried so much less if at all compared to both Kain and Gage that came out screaming. I think if I had to give birth with only one item this would be the only thing I would need!

3. Cloth Diapers Can also be found Here Well of course this had to be one! Now there are many wonderful brands but I think the starbunz are by far the cutest. This is obviously going to be a huge one for me since I started a company based solely on my transition into them. This is one of those things I wish I would have tried much sooner than I did since I truly fell in love with them once I switched. Not only are they healthier, cheaper and cuter but they are so darn easy and it is wonderful to not run out of diapers. Also just today it dawned on me when Ozzye had a blow out of poop come out of his diaper that I have only experienced that a handful of times with both Bro and this would be the first time with Ozzye. Now anyone that has breastfed and used disposable diapers with their newborns knows of "blow out", when they poop and it shoots out the back of their diaper getting everything a mess. I have rarely had this with cloth! Plus why wouldn't you want to cushion your baby's bum in soft cloth rather than paper?

2. Attached Crib

I have no links for this one since it is so incredibly simple. I never planned on being a co-sleeper when I had Kain, never even gave it any thought actually until the first night we were home from the hospital and I went to bed and missed him. The first time he woke up crying that night I took him to bed with us and he simply never left. He always slept between Dave and I with my arm around him. Then with Gage I got one of those "sidecars" which was really only used to hold diapers and to catch him if he fell out since Kain was still sleeping in between us. We always had a crib and set it up in the baby's room and they rarely used it except for nap time and sometimes when I would first lay them down for the night. I remember my sister in law attaching the crib to her bed and I am not quite sure why it took me so long to join that train but I finally did with Brody and it was the BEST thing we ever did. I have never suffered from "sleepless" nights that I have heard so much about from new moms and I believe co-sleeping is why. Not only did I sleep better with my babies in bed with me but so did they, it made feedings so much easier and I believe it may have saved Aubriel's life. She stopped breathing twice as a baby and while I feel the "cause" was her vaccines (but that is a whole other story), I think having her in bed with me it what saved her life. So now with the crib attached to our bed, I can lay them down in their space if I need my own but can still have them close enough to me that I don't actually have to get up to get them and if they sleep next to me, which they do most often I don't have to worry about them falling out and the icing on the cake is I have space to keep everything I could possibly need for baby during the night! So all I do is remove the one side, zip tie it to my bed frame, push the crib mattress against ours and stuff blankets in the other side to hold it. Super easy and the BEST way to sleep with baby!

1. BabyHawk

BabyHawk wins for number one because I love their designs but honestly there are a lot of good Mei Tais out there or if you are more talented than I very easy to make. I tried a few times (as you can see in the last picture) and discovered buying was a much better option for me. I wish I would have found them sooner because I longed to wear my babies so much but never found a comfortable way to do it. I had the traditional western style baby carrier with Kain, similar to the baby Bjorn, but not only did he hate it but I did as well. So with Gage I never wore him. With Aubriel I used a simply ring sling which I enjoyed until she got a bit older. So with Brody I dove into the world of all styles of eastern baby carriers. I used slings, wraps, and various Mei Tais and I loved the Mei Tais the best. So with Ozzye I got a BabyHawk for the headrest so we could use it earlier instead of our ring sling if I wanted. Unfortunately I think I am liking it more than he is right now but he does enjoy most of the time, I am crossing my fingers it will grow on him even more since I could hardly get Brody out of it but it makes life much easier when I need my hands for chasing after toddlers or even want to be "lighter" while shopping without the bulky stroller! Sorry for the poor pictures of me, this is what happens when the only people to take pictures of you with your children ARE your children. It is going to look like Kain and Gage just got a mom at age 8!

I'm Not a Soccer Mom...

...and I don't drive a mini-van (we tried one on for size once and it quite literally didn't fit) but my son was wear soccer socks for his football game today. Is there even a real difference? With just having my fourth boy one would think I would finally be use to all these sports but I'm not. Getting Kain ready to play football this year nearly pushed me over the edge as I walked into Dave's work a few weeks ago with all five kids in tow almost in tears after going to buy a mouth guard (which I had to get one with dental insurance because I could never live with myself if my son had to go through the rest of his life because mom was too cheap to spend the extra 5 bucks to get one with dental insurance... I didn't even know they came that way!) a cup (this was fun, because when they put the size on there you just have to wonder what they are really talking about because one thing I DO know after having four boys is that ones genes has much more to do with size than age) and cleats. This was SUCH a "Dad job" for our family in any case and some how it ended up on me.

Now my brother has four boys but luckily for my sister-in-law her husband would much rather throw a virtual football than an actual one. Their boys do things like art and music but not mine. Mine are into every sport they or their father could possibly imagine (well except soccer, Dave doesn't like it much and I try VERY hard to keep baseball out of our home) and yet I wonder why, oh, why they were given to me when they have a father that loves the sports yes but can never seem to take his boys to them!

But who am I kidding anyway because even if he could I would still take all the kids and go because I can never get enough of watching my children do anything that brings them joy... well, unless what brings them joy is destroying my house like Brody seems to be fond of. Speaking of Brody when we got home I asked him to take off his shoes before laying on the couch... this is what I found....

I figured I didn't need a picture of him, this pretty much says it all.

Anyway back to football. The season has officially begun as Kain has his first scrimmage this morning. Bright and early at 7 am! Well, the scrimmage was at 8 but we had to be there by 7 for pictures and to get the jerseys. At 5 am when I heard a loud crack of thundered I prayed they would push the game back but when my alarm went off an hour later it had pretty much stopped raining. So I got Kain up and we got ready to leave. I had to take my peacefully sleeping baby out of his warm bed snuggled up next to Dad (I thought about leaving him but I am sure he would have woken up 2 seconds after I walked out the door). Then I put him in jammies that were too small but was running too late to change him only to get there and we still had to wait for the jerseys to get there. Once they arrived Kain got to pick his number. He picked 24 for his now ("since Javon Walker went to the stupid Raiders") favorite player Champ Bailey. We figured his colors are somewhere in between the Wolverines and the Fighting Irish... Kain has an Uncle in each city... Brian and Ryan but we ended up leaning towards Notre Dame since his cousin's live there and well being the Michigan State fans we are we couldn't have anything like Michigan... Sorry Uncle Ryan! This believe it or not is the ONLY picture I got today...

I had to run back at 7:30 to pick up the other kids before Dave left for work. By the time we got back we only caught the very end of the game which kind of bummed me out but since this is just the beginning there will be more games and many more pictures to come!

Now he has his head in an Fantasy Football Magazine getting ready for his first draft tonight. I think we may need a nap today... it isn't even noon. I think this why I think it is best to not home school Kain... he would know nothing unless it was football related in some way, shape or form!

Usually Takes Longer Than 5 Years...

...before most people would see their daughter sneaking into the basement with a beer. But not for us! However most girls don't grow up with a Brody for a brother so this time I will give her the benefit of the doubt that she was simply returning what Brody had removed in the first place. Considering just last month Brody discovered that when you slam a bottle of beer on the floor the top will shoot off. That is a fun game for everyone in the house including mom that gets to clean beer off the ceiling. He also was playing with a tonton from StarWars the other day AKA "drunk horsey" according to Brody so we are thinking he might be ready for his first AA meeting... one can never start intervention too soon.

And on that note...

Okay is this a sign? I am thinking I won't go this far... "He said Khamis, who already has three daughters, took fertility drugs in an effort to have a son." Is anyone else thinking what I am thinking? WHAT?!?!?!???

The Questions of Large Families...

I recently read an answered question on my friend's blog that is expecting her ninth baby. She said one of the most asked questions is "Did you plan a large family?" so she answered it is a very long (because of course this is never a simply answer), VERY beautifully written, almost speaking from my heart blog entry. Anyone who has a large family or came from one or even knows one would love this site of answers to thousands of questions that come our way every day. My favorite has to be... "We are not trying to overpopulate the earth, simply outnumber the idiots!" I think I am going to put this on a T-shirt.

So I thought I would try my hand at it, although figuring out which question is asked of us most often can be challenging to figure out. I wonder if it depends on how many kids you actually have as to which questions are asked most often. I think when you have 3 you can still glide under the radar so to speak. That is still within people's "normal" limits BUT once you add that fourth look out that is when they start to pick up and as I have noticed only gain speed with the fifth. So I suppose once you already have a large family people wonder if it was planned. I suppose with nine children they are done asking IF you are going to have more or not. But as I sit here with my small amount of only five children I think the question I get most often is "Are you going to have more?" And for the first time I don't think I have an answer.

Of course anyone that knows me knows that I love my children immensely and love having them. That is to say I actually love to give birth as well as everything that goes along with it which surprises many people. I think giving birth is such a powerful magical thing in and of its self but which each child my births have gotten more private for Dave and I and with that become more spiritual which is the way I believe this miracle of life was meant to happen. So I do not think the term want is what is in question.

I know a lot of people right now that are either pregnant or just had babies. Some of them first time parents and some of them VERY experienced parents. But what I confess to being insanely jealous of (in that over joyed, super excited for them way of course!) is that I know a few woman that are pregnant at the same time as their sisters. Those of you that know also know I do not have a sister. Something I longed for even before I knew my father made this impossible as long as my mother remained married to him, thanks Dad!

See for most of my life I thought a sister might be my only happiness with having a sibling. My brother and I have struggled with our relationship most of our lives. Probably not even so much because of anything either one of us did or didn't do per se but more because that is simply the way our relationship is. Perhaps it is because our age difference, perhaps it is because we are opposite sex, perhaps it is because of our up bringing, perhaps it is all of those things or none of them at all. I have never been able to put my finger on "where we went wrong" but I thought for sure that we had. But then a dear friend of both of ours once said something to me. He is the youngest of 3 and said to me "maybe the fact that you guys DON'T get along all the time tells you how close you guys really are. In my family we just don't do anything, so we never really fight because there is nothing there between us to fight about." I thought that was great food for thought! But anyway back to my point.

I think everything whether it is perceived as good or bad serves us well. Both David and I come from families of only one sibling BUT all of our parents come from families of four or more children. So both of us have such fond memories of Christmases at our grandparents filled with loved ones, reunions with many children running around, both of us being a couple of the older ones have memories of caring for our younger cousins and this brought us such joy. I believe part of our desire to continue adding to our family was the need to fill our or our children's lives or their children's lives with many loved ones surrounding them. So had our parents not grown up as they did and we did not have a concern for having the same for our children by only having one sibling we may not have some of our children... oh, who am I kidding we still probably would. But none the less our experiences influence our actions whether we are conscious of it or not.

So based on my experience of not having a sister, watching my boys grow up as best friends and watching some of my friends become or remain best friends with their sisters in adulthood I began to wonder how important having a sibling of the same sex is for someone. I am once again at a place I never thought I would be at, funny how that seems to happen more often as one ages. I never wanted to want a particular sex of child, I never wanted to care and for the most part I never did. I probably "cared" the most with Brody, I thought another girl would have rounded out our family nicely but of course once he was here and I watched his and Aubriel's relationship unfold I really believed that they were perfect for one another. With Ozzye's pregnancy I was leaning much more to "wanting" another boy. I watch how Kain and Gage are with one another, not that they are always nice to each other by any means, come on they are still brothers. But when one of them is gone doing something else it is clear to EVERYONE how much they really need one another. And although Brody will play house with Aubriel and LOVES the baby dolls he is also increasingly becoming more BOY like and many times is too rough for Aubriel... of course right now he is too rough for Ozzye but hopefully as they grow they can be just as close as Kain and Gage.

Which brings me to having another baby and a "fear" of having another boy. There I have said it, admitted it more, that I think I may FEAR having another boy. Now don't get this wrong, it is not that another boy in and of itself would be anything short of another wonderful baby. I love my boys and just about everything that goes along with them and I completely agree when people say boys are easier than girls. And with Aubriel being as much like me as she is I sometimes wonder if we could handle yet another "me" in the house. But I know that I longed for a sister my whole life and even now as I watch others, like my friend expecting her 8th as I think she races her sister that just had her 9th (what fun family events must be for all of them!) I can't help but wonder if I am missing out on something. I have tried many times to fill that role with friends and sister-in-laws and even cousins but sometimes it does not seem the same. Maybe that falls on me, maybe I only think I know what it looks like but I lack the follow through it takes as my mom's relationship with her own sisters was more of that as a mother do to things in her life. But I think as Aubriel cried out "But I wanted a baby sister!" as Gage announced that we had yet another boy at Ozzye's birth may play on my own desires more than anything. She is in love with her baby brother's right now but I have already started seeing changes in her relationship with Brody and them playing less and less while my boys seem to remain strong. Perhaps that is all that happened with David and I with our siblings of the opposite sex, we just grew and changed while doing so. She does love being Ozzye's "mama" and has to hold him daily BUT she also still draws her "baby sister" in our family pictures.

So will we have another baby? I guess I don't know. I would love to have another baby in our lives some day. I would love to have a sister for Aubriel. I would love to be at peace with whatever we get. But for now I think I need to work on releasing what I do not have control over, trust my children will get the experiences in life that will best serve them and simply leave it be for now. Much easier said than done for me but we have been so incredibly blessed up until now there is no reason to think any more children wouldn't offer us the same. Many times it is hard to see the forest through the trees and this has proven to be true so many times as we have welcomed another little person into our lives. When I can sit back and look at it all unfold it is so perfect for each of us!

Taking Flight...

Oh, goodness my baby is only 3 months old and I can already see signs of him taking off on us! Here are just some cute pictures of him from tonight...He discovered his hands a while ago but tonight he rolled over for the first time both front to back and back to front. Which kind of makes me wonder if this is not a new trick for him but rather a well "hidden" trick. He probably is taking it easy on me since I swear it goes by faster and faster with each baby. Kain even asked if Moms really get that excited about such little things, which any mom knows that answer is of course YES! Maybe he just thought I was one of the weird ones... which okay I probably am but not about this.

Also tonight I found a Dragonfly in our garden which is not unusual but the fact it sat so still for so long and let me get close enough to get a good picture of it kind of surprised me. So naturally I had to look up Dragonfly in my Animal-Speak book by Ted Andrews. This is one of my favorite books! It tells you not only about animals but what the meaning is behind them if they have shown up in your life.

So here is what it has to say about Dragonfly...

"Dragonfly and Damselfly

Keynote: The Power of Light

...For many it is difficult to tell the difference between a dragonfly and a damselfly. Dragonflies have broad bodies and enormous eyes. Damselflies are more slender and delicate. When Dragonflies are at rest, they hold their wings out like a glider. Damselflies will fold their wings over their backs when at rest...

...If a Dragonfly has shown up in your life, you may need some fresh air in regard to something emotional. You may need to gain a new perspective or make a change. It may even indicate that you are neglecting your emotions. Are you being too rational about everything? Are you not keeping the color of emotions alive?

Dragonflies are very territorial. They will lay their eggs within their territory near the water. The egg eventually develops into the nymph stage of metamorphosis in this insect, and remains as a nymph for almost two years before it transforms into an adult Dragonfly or Damselfly. This can reflect a number of possibilities for those with this totem. It can indicate that an approximate two-year period of change is about to reach its culmination. It may reflect that you are coming into a two-year period of transformation. It may even reflect a need to institute changes that may culminate in the colorful transformations you desire within a two-year period. Only by examining your life and activities will you begin to understand its specific role...

...Although they have color pigment in their skin, for most the colors are caused almost the same way rainbows form. Structures in their shell scatter and refract the light, making them iridescent green and blue. As they age, they may pass through several color changes. This ability to reflect and refract light and color has caused it to be associated with many forms of magic and mysticism-including color magic, illusion (causing others only to see what you wish), and more. Dragonfly's magic is the power of light and all that has ever been associated with it.

Dragonflies and Damselflies are often depicted in Japanese paintings, representing new light and joy. To some Native Americans, they represent the souls of the dead. Some stories speak of the time in which they used to be real dragons....

...The Dragonfly and Damselfly reflect and work with the sun and light. The light changes throughout the day. The Dragonfly and Damselfly undergo their own transformations. If they have shown up, look for change to occur. Are you resisting change when you shouldn't? Dragonflies remind us that we are light and can reflect the light in powerful ways in we choose to do so. 'Let their be light' is the divine prompting to use the creative imagination as a force within your life. This is part of what Dragonflies and Damselflies teach us.

Life is never quite the way it appears, but it is always filled with light and color. Dragonfly can help you to see through your illusions and thus allow your own light to shine forth. Dragonfly brings the brightness of transformation and the wonder of colorful new vision."

Our Zoo

So since Dave worked 3 straight open to close shifts in a row the kids and I were ready to get out of the house for some fun. So yesterday evening my mom and I took our zoo crew to the zoo! It was Ozzye's first trip, not that he got much out of it but he spent some time in the stroller looking around which was different for him.So all of the kids are enjoying looking at the live animals...And then we have Brody...I think he even said "nice to meet you" as he "shook" his hand.But he did love the goats, even though he wouldn't let me get a good picture of him with them...My little monkeys...And my littlest monkey...And my penguins too...I thought this picture was funny....It pretty much sums up how Ozzye spends his days... with LOTS of attention!

And a fitting end to the day after yesterday's blog entry... We found a porcupine that is JUST like Brody! We figured he either fell asleep there or died because we stood there for what seemed like forever and he never once moved!

The Many Sleeps of Brody

For those of you that know Brody he never stops moving... and when he does he has a habit of passing out in some of the most interesting places. I may have already shared this (I can't remember) and many you have probably already seen before but in any case I have compiled a new list of our favorite Brody Sleeping Places, probably for our own enjoyment more than anything...This was a new one at his cousin's house...Okay this one he was simply sleeping peacefully as an infant until someone decided to sleep ON him!Okay this one is more just sweet than funny...This probably what started it all...Or this?Some "eating" shots...Some playing shots...This one is funnier when you know he is sleeping at the top of the stairs on our landing, Aubriel covered him with a blanket...Yes, he is sleeping, and yes he isn't wearing any clothes...Much like this one...At a wedding...He looks like he had a hard day at the office...Shopping cart...This was the most recent, that would be a football card on his face, he put it there before he fell asleep...And of course our all time favorite....under our bed!