Yoga Mama

Yesterday I attended my first yoga class since before I got pregnant! I have been wanting to get back into it for months now but didn't realize just how very much I missed it (and how much my body missed it) until I finished yesterday. Oh my body felt so alive and I knew from the moment I finished I would be sore today... which actually isn't even as bad as I anticipated.

I am quiet positive the reason I didn't have any morning sickness with Brody and Ozzye was due to how fit I was and how much I was working out when I got pregnant. Aside from yoga I never worked out much beyond that until after I had Aubriel. That continued with yoga and other activities before and throughout my pregnancies with Brody and Ozzye and I never felt better pregnant!

Last June as soon as Kain finished school I stopped both yoga and working out at the gym due to adjusting with summer schedules and vacations. I had plans to return to both before the summer was out but along with stressful moments I discovered I was pregnant in July. It was too late, morning sickness hit me with full force and the mere idea of even getting off the couch some days was more than I could handle, much less a workout of any kind.

Again with the second trimester the intentions were there but with the holidays right around the corner the motivation was not... but alas with the final trimester things have settled down. Okay not really at all. Between Kain and Aubriel's schedule alone they have something every week night and they are taking turns over the next 8 weekends with something. As well as us trying to squeeze in a mini family vacation to beat the winter blues and before we are knee deep in fresh baby goodness! But luckily for me something in me snapped which made motivation a higher priority than finding time in my days.

Maybe it is the nesting, as I seem to be running out of things to get ready for baby maybe I should start getting my body ready to birth this baby. I have never taken a single birthing class. I honestly find them a bit ridiculous to go and be told how to give birth when your body naturally already knows how to do it perfectly when left alone to do so. But I have always found my yoga background to be helpful while birthing. Perhaps it is simply from the stand point of being able to center my mind, release and surrenderer all inner chatter.

Maybe it is cabin fever. As it seems the first snow fall is always so exciting and then blankets of white that fill our landscapes out our windows have become a must for all of us during the month of December but once the end of Jan is upon us the real cold sets in and we no longer can find use for the piles of frozen snow. It is simply bitterly cold and we day dream of all of it melting into big puddles to splash in, in the warmth of the sun.

Maybe it is a longing to feel my body as normal again that has propelled this motivation. I love being pregnant, truly I do. I lay in bed extra long in the mornings listening to the baby's heartbeat and poking lovingly at my belly to watch the ripples along my skin. Just like the last two I am trying to soak in every moment, every kick, every wiggle and every ounce of this pregnancy that could very well be my last. Something I wish I perhaps would have done with my first 3 a bit more. With Kain I was like the 5 year old counting the days down to Christmas morning. I was far to set on the pot of gold to enjoy the rainbow. Gage's pregnancy was so trying. I was still adjusting to being mom and I was too wrapped up in making plans for our future to truly enjoy the journey I was on. Aubriel's was just a blur. It seemed basic and routine. I didn't know I should savor something I never really had in the past. I was excited to be planning my first home birth but much like Kain's the pregnancy was simply a means to an end. It wasn't until I became pregnant with Brody after thinking those moments had passed forever that I was able to immense myself in the process. That I could truly see pregnancy for the miracle it is. As much as our choices to have more children or to stop have been a rough road at times in the past for both Dave and I, I have come to embrace the beautiful gift of resistance my husband has given me. If it was not for his reluctancey at times I am not sure I would have come to appreciate the time I have been given, the second chances to fully drink in the experience of creating life with the one I love.

However I have moved off track. Even now as I try to enjoy these last 10 weeks with every part of my being I feel them more like the beach sand I am squeezing so tightly it is just slipping away that much quicker. My hip defect I was born with is starting to hurt on and off as baby sits upon it funny some days. My belly is reaching the point of soreness for the excessive stretching of so many coming before. My lower back is aching with the weight of my belly falling forward from no longer having any stomach tone left. And my husband's lack of desire towards pregnant women which he has expressed several times that he wishes just wasn't so is starting to take it's toll on me emotionally along with my waddle like never before. The desire to feel like a normal, sexy, young girl again (which I am well aware of the fact that ship has sailed) with her beautiful baby wrapped up in her arms is in complete conflict with the strong, brave, round bellied mama fully embracing everything that is beautiful about creating another human. I don't often wonder if this is how the crone is born out of the maiden and mother? Is it a marriage of sorts? A joining of the two journeys that bring us into the new? Like a rebirth of the young and the weathered into the wise?

I have been blessed with so many strong, wise women in my life of all ages. I will continue to draw on their love and support as I enter the next journey of womanhood... whatever that may be for me. I can already tell it will not be an easy one and I am sure I will need them but I am also sure it will all be worth it in the end. Getting back on my spiritual path is going to be key and I embrace it!

Namaste!

So Dizzy I Can't See Straight!

I wish I could say I was metaphorically speaking due to the fact that the next eight weeks are filled with either a gymnastics meet or a basketball tournament AND I only have about 10 weeks, give or take two, left before we welcome baby number 6 into our fold. But I'm actually speaking quite literally here. I hesitated to write about it at first since all of my pregnancies prior, with and without "professional" care have been nothing but smooth sailing and now here I sit without a care provider in sight wondering if I actually need one. But I figured if I don't dispel those myths that unassisted childbirthers are ignorant, uneducated, and all about pushing through to prove a point, who will? The fact of the matter is, when I do some deep soul searching I do feel I am in need of a change in my pregnancy but I do not feel that change is to bring an "expert" into my business. I also know that if it does reach that point, I, like most free birthers, will not hesitate for a moment to find the care they truly believe they need.

This has happened to me twice before in this pregnancy and the first two times it was such a short lived thing I honestly believed it to be a stomach bug I heard so much about from near by friends. I woke one morning in Oct. so dizzy I couldn't stand which was followed by vomiting twice. Even with my sickest of pregnancies I never threw up from them so I crawled back into bed excepting the fact I had the stomach flu. After sleeping a bit and feeling up to eating I made a full recovery by the end of the day and thought nothing of it, other than praising the powers that be that was the end of it.

Then about a week before Christmas (when it seemed like I had more friends than I could count struggling with the flu going through their home) I woke during the night to room spinning dizziness and nausea. I managed to get comfortable on the couch and fall back to sleep only to wake in the morning to feeling somewhat normal which turned into normal after eating. I suppose at this point I should have seen some similarities but it was right before Christmas and I was over joyed to not have to wait for vomiting to run through five children over the holidays.

Then yesterday morning I woke again to extreme dizziness. The alarm went off and as I sat up I felt like I was falling and immediately sunk back into my pillow. NOW I knew something wasn't right. I always have low blood pressure, pregnant or not but it usually doesn't give me too much trouble. In the past during my first trimester I will get a tad dizzy if I go too long between meals but that was always fixed by a quick snack and the dizziness was nothing compared to this. So it should be common knowledge that our bodies need to be balanced by what we put in them... what NATURAL things we put in them. But unfortunately most Dr. will not rely on balanced diets to help pregnant women with their aliments. They would much rather address to issue with drugs and procedures which snowball into more procedures and risks to both us and our babies. Research shows that most blood pressure issues can be helped with an increase of protein, increase of water and natural SEA salt, healthy fats such as omega 3s and support to the liver and kidneys for those that risk toxemia from it. I do not believe I am to the point of toxemia nor to I plan to be. Being pro-active with the knowledge I have thus far should be enough to get me and this babe back on track!

After a day of drinking so much water I had to pee every hour, taking some cranberry and consuming 100 grams of protein (which was not as easy as I thought it would be) I am feeling good as new. My to do list is picking up more fish oil, luckily my coconut oil just came in the mail and I will probably take a little apple cider vinegar to give my liver a little wash.

I do still find it a bit odd that I have never seemed to struggle with this in past pregnancies. Even before feeling dizzy I noticed I typically would wake at 4 in the morning simply STARVING but not wanting to get up to eat. We eat late dinners usually too so I wouldn't go to bed hungry. But I suppose every pregnancy is different and this would not be the first baby keeping me on my toes with their individuality. In other news with the baby, it is moving around a ton and has managed to remove it's head from my right hip which my now functioning again hip is oh so grateful about! It has a good string heartbeat which seems to be EVERYWHERE! I have located to placenta which also sounds good.

We have a couple of birthdays coming up next week and in Feb to distract me from nesting like crazy. However ordering my birth supplies is now at the TOP of my list with only 8-12 weeks to go!

Here is my 30 week belly picture, measuring my usual 3 cm ahead at 33.

Second Trimester - CHECK!

I hit 28 weeks a few days ago which means I am in the home stretch. It honestly feels like it has flown by! I suppose they do more and more with each one, with each child added to the family to chase after and keep you just that much more busy. I am back

to the feeling of just one baby moving about in my belly. There was a short period of time a few weeks ago where I swear I could hear two heartbeats. With Ozzye I got myself all worked up thinking there could be more than one simply based on my size and measurements alone and while those have continued to be above average it doesn't make me think anything but that fact after 5 babies already previously occupying my uterus it has taken on a cruel sense of humor. Baby is large enough that I can make out where and how they sit in my belly and I find it funny they have taken up the same broken in spot Ozzye did... perhaps all the babies did but I guess those are the little joys you miss out on being hurried in and out of one's Dr office. However before baby settled in every once and a while they would flip to my left side rather than my right and it sounded oh so much like another faint heartbeat on my

right side if I pushed in enough with my fetoscope. They are not known for their echos like dopplers and it didn't sound one bit like the placenta I can here on either side of my hip, but I know it lies to the back so maybe that is all it was after all. Baby has plunked it's self in head down with it's butt to my right side which is showing no signs of anything but one little bundle. While it stays active kicking and wiggling I don't see it moving positions much more before the birth at this point.

I measured myself at 31 cm which I still don't wonder if I am off on that as well and if it is maybe closer to 30 cm. Either way can't say it matters a whole heck of a lot but it's fun to compare to what I was with Oz. So far I have gained a total of 15# which is a bit depressing considering that was my total weight gain with Kain but I also had a higher starting weight with Kain and have kept my ending weight within about 10# so hopefully this baby will at least continue to follow that personal rule. Here is all 28 weeks and 31 cm of my baby belly...

And even though my older pictures are horrible and I didn't take them as often (at least I took some, I don't have any from the first 3) it is still fun to compare. While I have carried all my babies, boy or girl, like a "basketball" rather than the "football" like some women which pretty much proves the boys like basketball and girls like football th

eory right out the window. I did noticed this baby seems to have a bit more rounded shape rather than the slopping shape that last two seemed to give my belly. Other than that, and maybe it's the camera angle, I almost think I looked the largest with #5?

We got all our Christmas stuff put away and I am officially in nesting mode! I think I may actually need a list for all my lists, which is exceptionally funny since I am not even the least bit a list person. My mom would be so proud, maybe it just took 30 some years and 6 pregnancies to turn me into her.

I have got all the clothes and diapers washed and found a new home for them which storage seems to be our biggest challenge with adding a new family member theses days. And for some unknown, insane, pregnancy related reason I decided I DESPERATELY wanted new crib bedding and decided to save myself a ton of money, not stress however seeing as how I am a horrible fake seamstress, and make some. And yes, despite the fact that I actually feel like I'm having another boy I added just a bit of pink to it. The fact I "feel" like it's a boy should be enough after the first 5 (yes I guessed EVERYONE wrong) to know it is a girl (which I still don't really believe) but it really had more to do with the pink, bunny, toile that would not stop haunting my dreams... so I gave into it.

I have been nesting like mad in our bedroom even though I don't plan to give birth in there but the other pictures will have to wait for another post...