I've been replaced!

Aubriel declared the other day that she is in fact Ozzye's mama! She told me I could have him when he poops, pees and needs to eat but otherwise SHE is his mom. So now she holds him and she says "I'm your mama, yes I am little sweetie."

Also the other day she asked if we could name the baby Rachel. One time when she was holding him she even called him Rachel, I believe it went something like this, "Hi Rachel, hello little Rachel!" Yeah, needless to say that didn't make Dave very happy. I think she is okay with calling him Ozzye now but insists on naming our next baby Rachel. But she is not budging on her being his mama. She tells me all the time how we have the cutest baby ever so she is even sounding like his mom!

Introducing...

Ossyres Mathias

It is Osiris but spelled different. We are calling him Ozzye for short. Our newest little man is 1 week old today! He has gained 9 oz. since birth bringing him up to 6# 14oz. which is still smaller than our smallest baby at birth!His Grandpa and Grandma came to visit him today for the first time!The kids are loving him!Sometimes more than we would like!

Miracle of Life!

Well today is my due date and we have a new baby already! Even after the birth of our fifth child this never stops amazing David and I. I think this birth was probably even more amazing to us. It was certainly the most empowering birth yet.

When we decided to go this birth alone, just the two of us, with our children and my mother present to help with them, it was mostly due to us not wanting to find another midwife when ours was not available. As much as we love our midwife I had heard way too many stories about midwives that were not much better than most Dr. with trying to manage the birth. The thing that makes our midwife so wonderful is that she really doesn't do much unless truly needed so we could not imagine finding another.


But as I read more about Unassisted Childbirth the focus of our birth change drastically. I think the most interesting thing I read was about how unassisted childbirth can strengthen ones marriage and bond to one another. Dr. Michel Odent writes in the article...
"Why Laboring Women Don't Need Support"
"It's well known that opiates induce a state of dependency. When mother and baby haven't yet eliminated their endorphins and are close to each other, the beginning of a deep bond is created. In fact, when sexual partners are close to each other and impregnated with opiates, another kind of bonding may result that follows exactly the same model as the bonding between mother and baby."

I read more from him on how when one gives birth because of these hormones the mother will also bond deeply with the person closest to her during the birth. Unfortunately this person most often ends up being the Dr. or the midwife for most women rather than their husband. Even though David was close to me through all my births after this one we both realized how he had been holding back. It was easy to "take the back seat" so to speak and leave everything up to our attendant. But with this birth David was fully present, he was able to be intimate with me and support me in a whole new way which could simply not be achieved with another person there!
I started having a few contractions at Aubriel's gymnastics that morning so after I stopped into Dave's work just to update him. I decided to go home and time them and give a call if anything changed. Once home I noticed they were about 10 minutes apart. Around noon they started coming close more like 5-7 minutes apart. I called Dave a little after noon to see what he wanted to do. We decided he would call me in another 30 minutes and see where I was at. During that time my mom called me since I had been talking to my cousin online and she had called her mom, who then called my mom and she of course called me (good news travels fast I guess). So my mom said she would leave work about 1. Then Dave called me back a little before 1 and said his lunch had just gotten there so he would come home and eat with me before deciding if he would go back or not. He got home at 1 and while eating lunch together I had 3-4 more contractions so he decided to call them and let them know he would not be coming back to work. My mom showed up soon after that. We had Chinese for lunch and our fortune cookie read: "You are capable, competent, creative, careful, prove it."
I was still feeling pretty good and was walking around in between my contractions. My mom helped clean a bit and then around 2 we started to set up the pool in our living room. Then at 3 my mom left to pick up the boys from school. While she was gone I had a HUGE contraction that just didn't let up. Once it finally did I decided to get into the pool even though it was only about 1/3 of the way full but just soaking my belly in it felt so good. So we continued filling it when we had hot water to do so. My mom took pictures and sat with any of the kids that wanted to be there.
Dave sat behind me outside of the pool. With every contraction I had he would rub my back for me. Everything he did was perfect, we seemed to have this unspoken understanding. He would reading my body language and just act instinctively with what I needed most at that time. As they got more intense I started to push during my contractions as it felt right and good to do so. Then I felt the head drop past my tailbone with one of them. I kept reaching up to see what I could feel. With the last two babies when I could feel the bag of water it was either already out or very close to it. This time every time I would reach up it was still about 1 1/2 or so inches away and I remember thinking that was too far to go, that I couldn't do it. I knew this was transition but was afraid to to even say what I was thinking because I thought it had to be MUCH longer before he would be born. Then with the next contraction my water broke, first time ever for me (I have always had it broke for me). The kids checked the time and it was 4 PM. I knew then that he would come fast and I remember thinking I wasn't ready, that too much needed to be stretched yet. I quickly asked someone if the video camera was on so then my mom turned it on and came and knelt next to Dave. I leaned back against the pool and Dave was right behind me, I pressed my face against his and tried to hold myself with the next contraction. It felt so good to just be touching David and have his arms around me. I just remember thinking I needed to slow it down some how and wasn't even really sure if that is why I put my hand there or if it was to feel for the head. Then as the head came flying out it reached the point of no return and I no longer wanted to slow it but hurry up and get it out. I pushed through it and moaned something to David... not even sure what. Then his head was out. I felt it with my hand and even remember thinking that it felt smaller than the other kids. I never even thought to check for a cord or anything, I guess I like to think I would have if I had needed to. Then the next contraction came and it felt like I was pushing another head out with his shoulders, then they rotated and the rest of him came out. After I felt him rotate I leaned forward and picked him up out of the water. David just started laughing, probably from relief and started telling me how wonderful I did and how proud of me he was. I am not sure how many kids were there for the actual birth, I know Kain was but they were all there moments after. Gage got to be the first to tell us what he was this time, it is such a highlight for the kids!

We sat together in the water for a while. Then I got out and nursed him while we waited for the cord to drain all of the placenta blood into him. After about an hour we tied and cut the cord. Gage did the honors again this time but without running away after the first cut like with Brody. Then we weighed him and got him dressed. We could not believe he is our smallest baby yet at only 6# 5 oz. My mom and Dave cleaned up the pool and then my mom ran out and got us all dinner and a birthday cake for our new little man.


I don't think I could have asked for things to have gone more perfect! It was such an incredible experience that has bonded David and I in a way I could not have imagined before. Birthing unassisted together with just our family was truly the "full circle" of how his life in utero began, private, intimate and completely surrounded in love! I would say I wished I had birthed all my babies this way but I am not sure we would be here without the experience of our first 4 births!

Today Might be THE Day!

May 14th may be the birth day of the newest Martens member! I woke up this morning with some strong contractions but nothing that seemed too regular and they were manageable. So Dave brought the boys to school and then went off to work. The little ones and I headed to Aubriel's gymnastics class. I noticed I continued having them while there but was not really timing them and they weren't unbearable.

On our way home we stopped by Dave's work to update him and after we left I finally realized they were about 10 minutes apart. By about noon today they have been coming closer to every 5-7 minutes. So Dave came home at about 1 and my mom just got here as well. I am hoping the baby will wait until their big brothers get home from school at 3. I will update as I can!

Due Dates

Well, if I was seeing a Dr. today would actually be my "official" due date but since I knew exactly when I ovulated I went off of that and determined I am actually due closer to the 16th. I really hate the idea of a due date in any case especially after having 4 babies already. I thought about just going with a due month this time around and now I am thinking that may have been best. Due dates really do more harm than good I think. I believe most Dr.s these days treat one's due date more like an expiration date. You find very few women that even make it to their due dates much less what use to be very common to go 2-3 weeks "late."

According to my due dates Gage was almost two weeks late and yet weighed the exact same amount as his sister that was only 3 days late. That right there should tell us that only babies know when their true birth days are "suppose" to be. Even now with 4 births pasts I still can't help but get my hopes up around that magic little date and why? I know this little one will come on the perfect date, just when they are suppose to like all the others did and turn out healthy.

For me the moon has proven to be a better indication of when I have my babies than any Dr.s poor mathematics! So tomorrow starts the 10 day wait... all my babies have been born within 10 days of the full moon so I have said from the start this one will be born between the 14th and the 24th! And really how is this much different than going back to our original roots of telling time? Back when they lived by the position of the sun, moon and stars and relied on them for important information... and really many still do!

No Baby for Mother's Day!

Well, I made it through Mother's Day with no signs of a baby like so many thought I would have... although late last night Dave and I were beginning to wonder as the baby was the most active it has been thus far! I thought it was trying to crawl out! I was ready though, Dave worked yesterday and the Sunday before my mom, Aubriel and I went out for a girls, early Mother's day outing.

We went to get our toes done, since I can no longer reach mine! Aubriel was SO excited to get her first pedicure. All through it she kept saying how wonderful it was. She picked out Blackberry colored nail polish and felt her "red" toes looked so grown up. When we were done we went shopping but Aubriel just wanted to go home and show her Daddy her new toes (she is SUCH a Daddy's girl. Although once we were shopping she continued to have fun like a true girl! She of course needed the bracelet that says "Daddy's Girl" and she was not happy once she realized that if she gets a baby sister that she might have to share her Daddy with her. She has decided that she still gets to stay "Daddy's Little Girl" and the baby can be "Daddy's Baby Girl" because she is NOT ready to be "Daddy's BIG Girl" yet (I don't think Daddy is ready for that yet either so I am sure he thinks this sounds good as well)!

The boys were simply happy to have their Dad home all day with them. They played outside all day like boys should. The older ones were great about watching little Bro while Dave got some work done on our garden too.

So since that was our Sunday last week yesterday was pretty mild. My mom came over and helped me clean... thank goodness for Mothers, although it is probably not what she deserved for her Mother's day (it is a good thing I pampered her some the week before). I hope everyone else had a wonderful Mother's Day including my other two Mothers! I did not get a chance to talk to them but David said he called them both in between working so he got to extend our best wishes for the day.

Now we just keep waiting for our little one to arrive. I actually think I might go late again with this one. I guess I should have expected it... Brody was the first one that I did expect to go late with and of course he came early, so he had my hopes up with this one that I might get a sneak peak but I think they are going to make me wait it out like the other 3 did!

Kain's Poem!

I just checked out Kain's school blog and his teacher has a link of Kain reciting one of his poems! You can hear it by clicking here and then hitting the play button! I am so proud... can you tell?

My Blessingway

Yesterday some women from my holistic moms group gave me a blessingway. I had never had one before with any of my other babies but knew a lot about them and always thought they were beautiful. I can understand the reason why showers are usually only reserved for the first born baby but the idea of celebrating each and every life entering the world makes sense to me. We are all special and born from love and any mother that has more than one child knows that not one of them is more dear than any other. So with this in mind I was blessed with women that wanted to support me in my up coming journey of welcoming yet another soul into our lives!

My friend had it at her house, in the warm sunshine of her tree filled backyard, it was a perfect setting for such a beautiful ceremony. She use to teach at a Waldorf School so she started it with a story that they tell the children for their birthday's. It went something like this, from how I remember it...

"One day a child and an angel were playing ball together in heaven. After throwing the ball too far the child ran to get it and caught a glimpse of something else that looked like a blue and green ball. So the child asked the angel what it was and the angel replied "that is earth." So the child asked if they could go there and the angel replied "anytime." So the angel took the child to visit earth. While there the child fell in love with all the trees, mountains, rivers and animals, so they asked the angel if they could live here. The angel replied "anytime." So after finding a couple that wanted a child for parents they asked the angel if they could now live with them. The angel replied "yes, but you need to return to heaven first and take a nap and when you wake up you will be with your parents." So the child laid down to fall asleep, once asleep the angel lead the child over the rainbow bridge and when they awoke they were in their mother's arms!"

She then shared a song with me that they also sing to the children at the school on their birthday...

The stars were watching

when for her birth

a little child

came down to Earth

Angels protect her

both day and night

and fill her heart

with love and light

The she passed around this wooden bowl for everyone to add something to help empower me and focus on during my labor...

She gave me the scissors charm because it reminded her of how midwives in ancient times use to place a knife under the bed of the laboring mother to help "cut the pain" of childbirth. With my love of history and being familiar with this tradition I thought it was a perfect wish and expression for my birth.

Another mom gave me a willow branch (she had also made a crown for me to wear out of willow branches) with this beautiful poem...

Willow Tree

I am a willow tree,

Strong, yet fluid

Graceful.

I can bend with the wind,

but my roots are tough,

Indestructible.

Opening to birth my child

is flowing with the wind:

from a soft and gentle breeze

to a stormy gale

back to a soft and gentle breeze.

My body is strong, but flexible.

It is my friend, it knows how to open.

I am a friend to my body

eating well, walking, and loving myself.

I shall birth safely, freely, openly...

among my loved and trusted ones.

I am the willow, flexible

beautiful resilient

endowed with the power of surrender

to the wind rustling through my leaves,

my branches.

My roots reach deep into Mother Earth

Anchored in Her strength

I bring forth Life

In joy!

I loved this as I felt these words will be a wonderful mantra leading up to the birth and during labor!

Then another mom gave me a moonstone. Which I found to be so amazing for me since it is tied to the energies of the moon and all of our babies thus far have been born within 5 days of a Full moon as well as David and I both being born within just a few days of one.

The last mom gave me a Pink Tourmaline bead with this description of it's energies...

"Relaxing and nurturing, pink tourmaline is associated with feminine energies. It vibrates a deep resonance with the heart chakra. It has the potential to heal emotional wounds with its soft, soothing energy to bring feelings of comfort and safety.

Pink Tourmaline balances and empowers women by harmonizing the feminine and masculine aspects within them. It carries the feminine ray, which vitalizes the feminine aspect of all living beings. Pink Tourmaline gives women the power, understanding, and awareness to realize their full potential. It helps them realize how their feminine and masculine natures coexist and interact, and it encourages these aspects to achieve greater harmony.

Pink Tourmaline also has a secondary mission. This is to protect its wearer from harmful external energies, such as electromagnetic radiation, microwaves, and the negative thoughts and emotions of others. It does this by forming a protective shield in the aura of any woman or man who wears it. This protective function is essential to Pink Tourmaline's ability to carry out its primary mission. Pink Tourmaline helps protect a woman from energies of other people's concepts and attitudes while she is reevaluating herself, contemplating the changes she wants t make, and taking the steps to make those changes."

Then she sat in the center of our circle, while the rest of us tied a string of yarn around each of our wrists with one thread. She then played her singing bowl for a meditation for us. It was SO beautiful! I love singing bowls and she was amazing with hers. The baby loved it as well as they moved so gently, almost dancing in my belly during the meditation. This is the info she then gave me on her singing bowl...

Scientists can measure the energy in all living things. Each living being/thing carries it's own vibrations (wave lengths of energy).

Vibrations/energy wave lengths correspond to musical notes on a musical scale.

Wave lengths of energy also have specific color as corresponds to the colors of the rainbow.

Pink Tourmaline - Magenta (between blue and violet and red) - Zeal/Bliss Point

My G sharp singing bowl corresponds to wave lengths of energy given off by our bodies that correspond directly to our personal lives - and the bliss we were meant to feel by aligning ourselves with what God (or as I like to say Goddess) had originally intended us for. For each person this is something different. Maybe we were meant to be a musician, painter, businessperson, or Mother, teacher or caregiver.

The Bliss Point helps us manifest our true self (that which we were "meant" to be on this Earthy plane for) as if it were "spoken from the Mouth of God".

Then after she finished and we all "woke up" from our meditation, we cut the strings between our bracelets and we will all wear them until the birth of my new little baby. They also each took a candle to light during my labor to say a prayer and hold us in their thoughts during such a special time. The whole thing was so very spiritual for me and I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful support network of amazing mothers that want to celebrate this experience with me and welcome our baby in such love!

Figures!

Well, speaking of dreams and after finally having one (kind of) yesterday it should not surprise me that today follows with another confusing one of the opposite sex since that seems to be this baby's pattern! Once again I am left wondering if it "counts" since I had laid down for just 20 minutes this afternoon to try the all too famous resting of the eyes. I couldn't have dosed off for more than 5 minutes but I "dreamt" I suppose, of a baby girl with bleach blond curls. So now I am not sure if we are waiting on the 13th or the 20th now for a baby girl!

The Dream?

Well, after having 4 babies and paying close attention to my dreams that have proceeded their births I know enough to not discount any of them. Although since noticing distinct patterns this baby has proven to keep us guessing so after my dream this morning we are left wondering if we will be welcoming another son in a week or two.

With all the other kids I dreamt about the opposite sex from what they were during my pregnancies, then had none for about a month before they were due and then dreamt of them 1 - 2 weeks to the day before they were born.

With Kain and Gage it was one week to the day that I finally dreamt of boys for the first time during their pregnancies. With Kain I took such a notice in my dreams that 1 week before Gage's birth I woke up and told Dave, "I think we are having a boy next Tuesday" and sure enough we did!

With Aubriel my dreams of baby boys took about a month off as usual but then three weeks before her birth I did dream of a boy once more but then the next week I dreamt of her birth exactly how it happened right down to her round little cheeks. So two weeks to the day later from that dream she was born. Not sure why my home births were 2 weeks to the day and my hospital births were 1 week to the day, perhaps baby was giving us more time to prepare.

Then with Brody it happened again but with the opposite twist. After my dreams of baby girls took a month off I dreamt of a boy. I remember waking that morning and telling Dave we maybe having a boy in two weeks but he said we couldn't since it would be a Sunday and football was on. Well, being Dave's son I suppose he came in the early hours before football was on. But for the first time I continued to have dreams of girls after "the" dream which had never happened with the other kids. With the others I once I had "the" dream I simply waited their arrival.

Now of course with this baby I have not dreamt about boys or girls any more, it has actually been every other and completely even (4 dreams of each I believe, yes, I have been writing them down). Last month although I did not dream of the baby at all I did have a dream that told me I would have "the" dream on Monday. Well, here it is Monday morning and I awoke to a dream that Dave and I were trying to figure out how we wanted to spell one of our boy names. There was no baby in the dream yet so it makes me wonder if this could be "the" dream we have been waiting for but I would not be surprised if after changing Brody's name once he was born if this baby wants us to be SURE of their name before they are born!

So I suppose I will wait and see if I have any more dreams of the baby or not and see if we do welcome a little boy on the 12th or the 19th!

May Baby!

It looks like that is what we are going to get, which is good since I always wanted to have a baby in May (I love the birth stone!). But with all the recent contractions I was having I

was beginning to wonder if it wouldn't come before that. I am 38 weeks today so the baby will definitely be good and healthy whenever it does decide to arrive. This baby continues to keep us guessing but I think everyone in the house is ready for them to make their debut. Aubriel is asking almost daily when it is coming and I think it has only been made worse by seeing our friend's new little girl born at the beginning of April. Aubriel fell in love with baby Allison and now can't wait until she gets one of her very own! Brody has proven to love babies almost as much with all of them he has recently been around which I am wondering if this is a good thing or not... Perhaps the baby is staying put for "safe" keeping. Here is the newest belly pics...I think they actually reflect my new found comfort with this pregnancy , although I think I spoke too soon with my last post because that night baby was right back to the same position! I think the baby is actually moving around more these last few weeks than the whole pregnancy thus far. So much for babies moving less as it gets closer, although being that this is mine and David's child it does not surprise us in the least it is breaking all the rules and going against the grain.

I am sure the next few weeks, even month are just going to fly by. My friends in my holistic moms group are planning a blessingway for me which I am so honored by. That will take place next week. We have mother's day coming up and then our dear friends from DE will be visiting the next weekend. At the end of the month my mother-in-law will be coming for a visit and somewhere in there we have to find time to birth a baby, hopefully before her arrival! I will be posting lots of updates this month... at least until the baby does arrive and then it may slow down some.