First day of spring...

Although it doesn't feel much like it outside I couldn't feel more springy on the inside! Today was Aubriel's last day at public school. After talking with her extensively about finishing out the school year and then home schooling or simply doing it after spring break she very clearly explained (with the calendar) that she did in fact want to start home schooling in the spring. So we figured why bother waiting and pulled her out. She had a great kindergarten year, she made 1 really good friend, whom hopefully she will see more of outside of school, she had an excellent teacher and most of all some fun which really is all I want for my children which is part of the reason we are pulling her. She loves learning and seems to posses so much self directed learning at this point we don't want her to lose that. Although the time she spent at school was fun she missed her baby brothers and her parents, so much so when Dave and I tried to go out by ourselves the other night she cried for us. That tells us the days are simply too long and she needs to be with her family more than she needs to "learn" in the way the state feels learning should take place.

I couldn't be happier either to have her home with us. I have spoken with more than one mom this year about their daughters struggling with other girls and friends in 4th grade and I pray my daughter will not have to deal with quite so much of that now. Gage continues to show a more positive attitude and I think he is going to enjoy Aubriel being home with him as well. Now that spring break is officially under way we get to enjoying our vacation... I can hardly wait for the beach!

Must be the Irish blood in them...

March 1st hits every year and Gage starts chomping at the bit...Not even the snow can stop him... actually it kind of added to his fun... I wonder how that is on his clubs?Brody even had to get in on the fun... His victory dance as follows...

Kain's Rockstar Hair...

Finally hair that both Kain and Dave can live with, although I don't really think Dave should have much say in it but he did put his foot down when Kain wanted dreads... even though I thought they would be cute. Oh, well this is something we all like...

Finally Chapter

Well I finally finished up How Children Fail. I kind of took my time with it and reread a lot of it since I enjoyed reading it so much. I was not only able to make sense of the struggles I was having as a parent in regards to my children's education but my own educations I received throughout my life thus far. It has put my mind at ease and enabled me to once again follow my heart rather than follow the masses, just as I did with homebirth, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, vaccinating, and many other areas of raising my children as well. I think as parents it is human nature to second guess every choice we make along the way... after all we only want what is best for our children but discovering what is best can be the biggest challenge. Hearing the other side of things can be much harder at times than blindly following what everyone else does but the pay off can be so much sweeter and just maybe if the other side of things matches that inner voice inside us it can release both ourselves and our child to truly be themselves. I have said often, of all my regrets raising my children, it is those that I made out of ignorance that haunt me the most. It is much easier to live with what could have been when you know all your options before going into it. So while this book spoke to my inner voice telling me what I knew could very well be just the thing my child needed, it encouraged me to simply try what that voice was telling me so that I will not live with regret in this area of my parenting journey. It may not be for everyone but I am happy to report that just a mere 2 and a half months into Gage's homeschooling Dave and I can see glimmers of the happy go lucky child we remember bringing into this world. He may not be able to rattle off math tables as fast as some his age and he may not be able to spell every word correctly that someone else decides he should be able to for his age but he wakes up in the morning with a smile on his face, he spends his days laughing again and goes to bed each night with expressions of love rather than tears. If this is not success I am not sure what is nor do I really care to. His spirit is finally feel to learn in a way he seems most useful to him and all of us couldn't be happier! The only regret I live with now in this area is that I did not do it sooner.

Since finishing this book and watching how much happier Gage is we have decided Aubriel will homeschool as well next year. We want to preserve her excitement for learning and fear she may not keep it through next year if she continues as Kain and Gage did. She has started showing signs of being "done" with school. She was happy to give it a try but seems to want to be home with her brothers more than at school which I couldn't be more thrilled about. Kain continues to have a great year with probably the best teacher yet. He will have this teacher again next year so we will continue to follow Kain's lead on what he feels will be best for him as far as schooling goes. We simply want learning to be fun for all our children and we feel Kain is at an age he can best decide what that way will be.

The vast differences between Kain and Gage continue to amazes us and challenge us with how to best raise and relate to each boy. The following from How Children Fail caught my attention for that very reason...

"Today Jane did one of those things that, for all her rebellious and annoying behavior in class, make her one of the best and most appealing people, young or old, that I have ever known. I was at the board, trying to explain to her a point on long division, when she said, in self-defense, "But Miss W. (her fourth grade teacher) told us that we should take the first number..." Here she saw the smallest shadow of doubt on my face. She knew instantly that I did not approve of this rule, and without so much as a pause she continued, "...it wasn't Miss W., it was someone else..." and then went on talking about long division.

I was touched and very moved. How many adults would have seen what she saw, that what she was saying about Miss W.'s teaching was, in some slight degree, lowering my estimate of Miss W.? Even more to the point, how many adults, given this opportunity to shift the blame for their difficulties onto the absent Miss W., would instantly changed their story to protect her from blame? Foe all our yammering about loyalty, not one adult in a thousand would have shown the loyalty that this little girl gave to her friend and former teacher. And she scarcely had to think to do it; for her, to defend one's friends from harm, blame, or even criticism was an instinct as natural as breathing.

Teachers and school tend to mistake good behavior for good character. What prize above all else is docility, suggestibility; the child who will do what he is told; or even better, the child that will do what is wanted without even having to be told. They value most in children what children least value in themselves. Small wonder that their effort to build character is such a failure; they don't know it when they see it. Jane is a good example. She has been a trial to everyone who has taught her. Even this fairly lenient school finds her barely tolerable; most schools long since would have kicked her out in disgrace. Of the many adults who have known her, probably very few have recognized her extraordinary qualities or appreciated their worth. Asked for an estimate of her character, most of them would probably say that it was bad. Yet, troublesome as she is, I wish that there were more children like her."

This reminds me so much of my sweet Gage. He is not the pleaser that Kain is... everyone we know talks about what a good, nice, wonderful, ect. boy Kain is and we of course know this is true of him but Gage is true to himself more than he plays the game. It is much harder for those (and I do not feel it is simply teachers and schools but other adults as well) to see that sweetness in Gage because they can't see beyond his "difficult" personality. This remains a huge struggle even for Dave and I on his upbringing but I have never for one minute felt like crushing his spirit was the way to make him a "better" child. He is wonderful just the way he is and I for one believe nurturing this is the very way to watch him grow as a person.

There is a question that was asked of the author during his years of teaching that can pretty much be asked of any parent for any topic of parenting that I will now forever ask myself. After watching a girl make more and more writing mistakes on an assignment and having to start over each and every time only to do worse on each paper she brought up....
"At that point Bill Hull asked me a question, one I should have asked myself, one we ought to all to keep asking ourselves: Where are you trying to get, and are you getting there?"

I can honestly say now with homeschooling I feel like I am getting where I am trying to get, even if that place happens to be different than someone Else's belief of where that should be!