On the 1st day of Yule...

Also known as Mother Night, the Eve before the Winter Solstice I am feeling more festive than usual. It finally feels like it has an authenticity about it. We have ever so slowly been trying for years now to not really move away from our Christian up bringings as Dave and I have so many fond memories from our childhood but to incorporate more of our own traditions and with our love of history get back to the roots of many of our most loved holiday traditions. It is the longest night of the year and come morning will be nothing but a celebration of the rebirth of the sun. I think what makes this year so much more different for me is that when I reflect on this very tumultuous year not only for us but for so many dear friends and family... the loss of jobs, of loved ones, of homes and many more. I am very eager to celebrate a rebirth, renew our hope in the future with brighter days again.


I have to say when I requested to be lifted out of my deep dark depression I was not expected to experience the how of it all. It seems even more often than ever before I would watch loved one's walk something much darker than I would ever conger up. Sometimes it was things I knew their heartache all to well from already being there and other times it was something I could never even imagine but in any case it did make my minuet problems seem just that... which didn't actually make me feel much "better" but did certainly take my focus away from a selfish one. I think many of us can look forward to starting fresh with a new year before us and hopefully can at least celebrate the blessings we did get out of 2009.


For the month of January I am grateful for what I am every year which is the birth of our first born. Kain turned 10 which is a HUGE year for any kid. He has forever left the world of single digits and is now close to being an adult than a child. I was also grateful for reclaiming Gage. I started home schooling him and the transformation is his sparkling personality has been amazing. There is no way someone could convince me that being "educated" is more important than having a peaceful soul. I have seen far too many broken souls this past year to ever wish that feeling upon one of my own children. This new adventure with him has not come without the normal second guessing that I believe every parent does at some point but I will never second guess the life that was rekindled in him!