Views on Childbirth...

Well, anyone that knows me knows my views on this topic are strong ones to put it mildly. I suppose they are so for a few reasons, most recently being my own journey through 4 births with another one on the way. But even before that I guess one could say it started before my own birth when my own mother sought out a better way of welcoming her baby into the world after my brother's hospital birth which naturally lead her to give birth to me at home. This was back in the 70s when I think women first starting taking notice or at least standing up for their rights as women to birth the way nature or God intended them to. It was out of their parents generation where many women showed up at a hospital, were drugged to the point of hardly if at all remembering their births and later waking up to meeting their new baby for the first time. In the town that my parents lived in when my brother was born MY father was one of the first to be allowed in the delivery room when my mother gave birth to him. I can not even imagine not having my husband, my biggest support and the one that helped create this life with me at my side, although given how well my husband deals with birth I am sure he could imagine it.

What I find funny about the progression of my grandmother's births, to my mother's births to my births is that with each one getting better most people think that, that is enough to warrant a "good" birth. I had my first two babies in the hospital, born naturally which is strange enough of a sight these days in most hospitals and I left before even spending a full 24 hours there. Many could argue I did not have the "normal" birth of what most women today have and that I should be satisfied with the natural birth I wanted and not search even more radical avenues. But what if my mother had settled for that? I am sure when my brother was born people would argue that childbirth had come a long way from the way her mother had given birth and perhaps she should simply be grateful that my father was allowed to be by her side, never mind that she was unnecessarily cut in her nether regions to extract her baby from her body simply because it was "procedure," worse yet that it was something that could have and would have happened in a more gentle way if left alone to be that way.

So she educated herself and others around her and many piers she knew started having home births, not to be negligent to what the medical field had to offer but to offer their babies a better start and take back what had been medicalized for no reason. I know from speaking to my husband's family that many of his aunts and uncle were born at home because that was simply the way it was still done back then. Out of 5 kids I think only the last 2 were born in hospitals as the transition was made from home being the "norm" to hospitals becoming the "norm." But there are those of us that like to pose the question "what really was wrong with those first 3 births?" Nothing from what I can tell, they all lived with no complications. Sure both of my Grandma's lost babies as I am sure many did in that generation but it had nothing to do with where they gave birth, ironically they had happened at both hospital and home, it had more to do with what technology had to offer at that time and even today not one Dr. can guarantee a baby's life even if it is born at a hospital. Why is that if our technology is so wonderful these days? Because life is a gift that is given and taken away and unfortunately I learned at a young age that this gift does not have an age limit. We are merely part of the life cycle which includes death as well.

What prompted this topic for the day was not just my endless questions about why I choose home births and even more with the choices Dave and I have made for this current pregnancy but from a discussion I witnessed online which peaked my interest so very much. After having two decent hospital births and two wonderful home births we have opted this time to go it alone for this baby. YES, we have given it much thought and I can assure you that anyone that chooses this path does not do it recklessly, without GREAT thought and much research. What is funny is I think I much more blindly made choices with my first births as many women do. I really wonder how many pregnant women go out and truly research ALL their options and ALL sides of birth. I know I didn't, I trusted exactly what my Dr. told me and I didn't question... well, very often but I was very blessed to have a Dr. that was extremely natural and not many questions came up for me.

So while I was reading a post on the unassisted childbirth board today, the topic started out with talking about pain during childbirth and how much of it is actual pain or how much of it has been taught to us to believe this sensation we feel is painful. It is interesting to really explore. We know that our body if not given drugs of any kind naturally releases hormones in our brain to help with all the changes that are going on in our body. It helps us forget the "pain" (although I know some will swear up and down they can remember the pain) if you have been given drugs, yes, I would agree you will remember the pain since it has probably blocked your body's natural hormones which are designed to help you deal with this. And even if you have had natural childbirth you may remember yourself thinking it was painful and therefore you say you remember the pain but do you actually remember the pain? If you cut yourself you will remember the exact sensation of cutting yourself, I have given birth four times and I remember thinking it was painful but I swear I do not remember the sensation of it. I know this is a FACT because even by the time the fourth came along there was one point where I wondered how the hell I did this 3 times before! Anyway that is what started this topic.

Then other women interjected with most agreeing statements many claiming that pain is there for a reason. I am a strong believer in this. Just from growing up through my teenage years with horrible headaches I reached a point where I thought feeling the pain, something that is natural and must be there for a reason has to be better than walking around drugged and in a fog not truly experiencing all that life has to offer me... even if it is taking the bad with the good. So I think the "pain" or whatever sensation you care to label it during childbirth is there for a reason, a good reason. This is what tells your body what to do, what your baby needs, what you need and this is ultimately what delivers your baby. Then the topic took and interesting turn... a religious one.

Although my husband and I do not consider ourselves Christians per se and we couldn't tell you any more than the story of Adam and Eve and Noah from the bible I find topics on it to be interesting, especially to see how it relates to ones faith. Both David and I were brought up in Christian homes and I think the thing that interests me now is finding the people that truly follow their faith as they claim to and those that like the title of being Christian. I think that is what turned David off the most about God was when he saw his family make choices based out of fear rather than faith. My experience was a bit different although I can not say it would have been without being raised by BOTH of my parents. I watched my parents come from different backgrounds and watched them continue to grow together in their faith and even made changes when something wasn't working rather than blindly following the path that was laid before them. I think that is what I love about them now, they can accept both my brother's and my views on religion and faith even though neither of us believe in God and both of our views are even different on the matter. I do have a spiritual background where as my brother has a scientific background. But anyway but to the point.

I have found that many people I know that choose home births are not only very educated individuals but have VERY strong roots in their faith whether that be in God or something else. Then there are those that say they are very faithful people when it comes to truly leaving something up to God their faith seems to shrink. Even if this was not their sole point I believe it has brought up and interesting thing to look at from their words.

First someone spoke of Eve's sin and the silver lining that came out of it which I also love and is a big part of my own faith, that everything happens for a positive even if it can not always be seen. I would love to just be able to relay what was said but I fear I would not do it justice so I will quote them in hopes they don't mind!

"I think them falling is what enabled them to become "fruitful" so to speak. I don't think birth was given to her as a punishment. I think only as a mortal they were able to reproduce and it took courage for her to take the step to become mortal. I know most won't agree, but that's what I believe personally. I think Eve is a wonderful person for what she did. It makes me sad the bad rep she gets."

This is the post that followed that grabbed me deeply....

"A note about Eve: she has, unfortunately, suffered from a loss in translation. The original Hebrew states her consequences as handed to her from God as toil and sorrow in childbirth, NOT pain. The pain thing crept into Latin translations in the early middle ages, when the Church essentially became the government, and very patriarchal at that. Translations of ancient scripts can take so much time to correct, but newer translations of the Bible have gone back to the original scripts and corrected much of the patriarchal mistranslations of the middle ages. Eve's consequences were not meant to be a curse. The toil (labor) was meant to humble her, since her main sin against God was the desire to usurp control from God, having given into a belief that God was withholding something from her, instead of trusting Him. So, her toil in birth was meant to show her that God and His created nature still had control over her, and gave her another chance to trust in His design (look what happens when we hand over that trust in God/nature concerning birth to whatever power tells us it's okay to eat the fruit all over again - we keep repeating this pattern!). The sorrow was a consequence of mortality, that our bodies would no longer function as perfect creations, and childbirth would now carry a risk. This also gave Eve another chance to trust in God's design; He wanted her to return to having faith in Him and His nature and design rather than believing every so-called expert that came along (in this story that figure was Satan, trying to convince Eve that he really knew what was better for her than her own Creator did). In essence, God was returning Eve's purpose to her, not cursing her. (As an aside addressing Eve's ability to reproduce - this was not given to her with her mortality; God's first admonition to the couple was to be fruitful and multiply, something obviously intended to happen in the Garden.)Incidentally, the same consequences of toil and sorrow were handed to Adam (who was standing right next to Eve when she was offered the fruit and was stricken with possibly the world's worst case of apathy and passivity in that moment, then tried to blame his wife for it! Does something similar still go on with men in maternity wards today? Hmmmm...), just in a form that would speak to the masculine heart and help return Adam to his original purpose and relationship with his Creator. So, even Biblically speaking, pain is not a given in birth and never was. It can be, as noted, a helpful messenger even. It has its purposes."

So the part that I find so interesting is that many will argue that they trust their God but then will cast stones at those that try to go back to the simplest forms of life and creation. David and I have learned through personal experience that being able to have a natural birth in it's purest form is right for us and our family. I know many have argued with me that God has given us technology to use and that "giving up" our births to the professionals is trusting in him but those same people will agree that God tests us daily with the life he has given us and it is part of the lesson for us to know when/what to use and when/what to leave when it is not needed. Now not to get me wrong, for I am not saying home births are the only or even the best way for everyone, remember I did have two hospital births which I think were good births that served both Dave and I and it was the best we knew at that time. But we did also realize it wasn't the only option out there so we sought out an option that was in fact better... at least for us anyway! I think daily everyone can say we experience this in many forms on our own personal journeys we call LIFE!

I have recently made a slide show of my birth journeys (which can be found to the left) that I hope can give people some insight to why we choose the paths for our children's births that we do.