10 Years Ago...

It was this time 10 years ago that I was just checking into the hospital pregnant with my first baby. I had labored at home for 9 hours before Dave could not handle it any longer. I was sure I wasn't in labor and was reluctant to go. Looking back I probably could have stayed home much longer and he probably would have been born without me even expecting it. I should have spent my time finding something to occupy the time for Dave a bit better, like watching TV or something. Although my memories at home during my first labor are fond ones despite the fact my husband watched me like a bomb waiting to go off at any moment. I had such a peace about me and as I labored on our bed in our small two bedroom apartment I found such comfort in Dave's arms as he would try to ease my pain with each contraction. Surprisingly this is something I would not experience in any of my other labors until we had our fifth baby unassisted. There is something so intimate and spiritual about experiencing life making it's way into this world with only your closest friend sharing it with you.

But by this time 10 years ago that was all passing as we made our way up to our hospital room where our lives would change forever, where we would welcome our first little baby into our new lives as parents. Just 3 1/2 hours after getting to the hospital little Kain Samuel would make his debut and change us like no one ever has (well maybe until we had Brody but that is another story for another day). I can't believe it has been that long already. I can remember the day so clearly, the excitement, the anxiety, the stupid nurse I wanted to punch in the face and even the terrifying thoughts that it might not be worth it all when his little head was crowning. But most of all I remember the moment that time stood still, the very moment I saw his little face for the first time... the rush of becoming a mother, knowing that you will never again be the same! Who knew such a tiny little person could have such an impact on your life?

I don't have enough hands to count how many times in the last 10 years he has tried my patience, frustrated me and I was positive I had screwed him up beyond all hope... and I am sure this will continue for at least another 10 years if not more. But it never stops amazing me how much this one person can continue to touch my life as well just as much as the day he was born. What he continues to teach me, share with me and how he inspires me is a gift I never expected 10 years ago when I first looked upon his sweet face.
My dear, sweet, 10 year old boy, I love you more than you know. Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy! I will continue to try my best to be all you deserve since you are far more than I deserve.