What is it that they say...

...if one asks for patience they will not be given patience but the opportunity to be patient. I was remind of this many times on our vacation and also in a quiet literal sense one afternoon while we watched a movie. There were times on our trip Dave and I feared it may be our worst vacation yet but now that we are back home we only have fond memories of it.

I think for me, aside from spending time with my children and husband, my favorite part must have been reconnecting with my cousins. Being sisterless myself my mom's sister's daughters were the closest I had to an actual sister. The one we went to visit in GA is only a few years younger than me and we would spend summers together every year. Since Amanda moved away we have tried to stay close but it is a bit harder being several states away. She gave birth to her first child the same month I had Brody and it is always great to watch Jillian and Brody together.

My other cousin, Amber, is finishing up school at Michigan State and she met us out there, stayed with us and we brought her back home to Michigan. I have to say spending time with her was especially a joy for me. With spending summers up north every year I practically raised her until she was 5. I then of course left for school, got married and had children of my own so spending so much time with her was not only meaningful in a way a parent might rekindle a long lost relationship with a child but to now see her and relate to her as the amazing adult she has become was truly awesome. It is always nice to discover one actually enjoys their family rather than simply love them because they are family!

We left late Monday night after Dave finished with work at 8pm. We love driving through the night in hopes that the children feel like the drive isn't so bad because of sleeping through most of it. The trip went great with the children being very well behaved. We stopped for breakfast somewhere in TN (I think) and then continued on. This was my first opportunity to get something I have been asking for... a more environmentally conscious husband. Soon after getting into NC we had the usual potty break requests from many, the baby was hungry and Kain wasn't feeling the best. So after not seeing any wayside signs for a quite a while we get off on an exit that claims there is a recreation area near by. So we drive through some winding roads following signs only to discover we are somewhere behind it. Not long after realizing this Kain starts throwing up. Luckily he had a zip lock bag from his snack earlier that he was puking in. We pull off on the side of the road and see an information sign a few feet ahead of us otherwise surrounded by forest. So the boys jump out to pee and Dave takes the baggie up to the information board thinking there would be a garbage there. I get everyone back in the truck and get Kain cleaned up and we head back the way we came to find a bathroom for Aubriel and I to use. So I asked Dave if he found a garbage and he replies no. Scared to even ask what he did with the puke baggie he tells me he left it in the empty brochure holder since he didn't want to throw it in the woods! I am thinking the next person to stop there will be adding a garbage can in that area. After getting back on the highway we of course pass a wayside 2 miles down the road! Luckily we arrived in SC without any more vomiting.

We got to our "beach side" resort around 8 pm and got checked in. We did get an awesome deal on it so we probably can't complain but we honestly didn't know that places like this even existed on Hilton Head Island. As we got up to the fourth floor we had to cross a bridge the kids later referred to as "the death trap" since it was under construction and consisted of plywood and had zip ties holding part of the railing together. The best part is our room was right there at the corner of it so we got to hear everyone coming and going. The door looked like someone had tried to kick it in at some point but at least was locked. The windows in the kitchen and living room didn't open since they faced the inside walkway of the resort... lovely views. But the inside was nice even though it had tile floors throughout (fun with an unstable baby) and the washer and dryer it said it had was down the hall and cost $1.50 per load. But we figured we are on the beach so who is going to be in the room anyway, right? Which is also why we figured Dave, the baby and I could all make due sharing a queen size bed... after all I did request to be "closer" to my family and husband during vacation!

Our first official day there we headed into Savannah right away to see my cousin and her family. Amanda meeting Ozzye for the first time...Amanda and I went to the airport that afternoon to pick up Amber while the boys got to look after children... well mostly Dave looking after children since Jeff had to leave for work but really when you are already watching 5 what's one more, right? We had lunch and then let the kids play before heading out for the day....Once leaving Amanda's we decided to go to Tybee Island and walk around on the beach there since we were dying to get our feet in the ocean. Luckily that is all we planned on getting in the water since it was quite cold and windy... after all we did ask for the beach.After leaving there we headed down to river street back in Savannah. Brody loved it down there and scared us half to death as well. The kids of course now look like circus folk since we did not plan on them swimming at the beach which they of course being children they did everything but actually swim so we had to piece together some dry "outfits" for them to wear. Again we asked for dry clothes so instead of being given complete outfits we had an opportunity to discover outfits...The next morning we were suppose to be up early since my cousin had not only gotten us on a super cool food tour of Savannah but offered to watch all of our kids to boot! But during the night Ozzye had been throwing up... luckily it was only a couple of times but at that age you never know what it could be and the last thing I wanted to do was drop a sick baby off at my cousin's... but we did anyway...Back in the Day has the BEST cupcakes EVER! They were so good...But this is the place that now owns my husband's heart... Angel's BBQ...This was the one place Dave wanted to eat at before going to Savannah but after stopping here on the foody tour and being introduced to Angel's he no longer felt the need to take any more than this picture away from The Lady and Son's...After our foody tour we decided to take the kids somewhere they could burn off some energy and allow Jeff and Amanda to get some much needed rest. So we went to Fort Pulaski between Savannah and Tybee...After walking into the actual fort we noticed a stair case that takes you up onto the wall... of course once we got up there we noticed there was only additional wall to the outside of the fort and drop off back to the inside of the fort. So we very quickly snapped this picture and proceeded to get Brody down off the wall ASAP!She would be crying due to the sand that has blown in her eyes...I could really use one of these in my backyard...Just outside the fort was some underground tunnels that kids had a blast running through and although I found them to be creepy they were much safer for Brody than the wall...Friday morning we woke up intending to spend the whole day on the beach... however we asked for a vacation full of adventure so we were given the opportunity to go out and find it. It started when we got down to the board walk that lead to the private beach, which not only turned out to be closed but a very long board walk at that. So after we walked about half way down the road Dave decided to go back and get the truck to drive us all the way down to the actual beach front condos that had a gate to "our" private beach.

I think it was over cast just about every day we were there but it didn't matter since we couldn't wait to go swimming...Baby's first time at the beach..."Mommy, something HORRIBLE is happening, Ozzye is getting dirty!"She still isn't happy we didn't clean him...Sleeping on the beach....Aubriel's mermaid she made with Amber...After spending more time than we thought we would at the beach given the weather we decided to venture out and see what else Hilton Head Island had to offer. We started with mini golf which always seems like a good idea when we start out but by the end when half the kids are crying we wonder why we decided to do it in the first place. Of course the jumps of joy when we first start out are so worth it so I am sure we will not learn our lesson after this trip either...Once we finished up with our golf outing and dried all of the tears that had been shed we drove around until we found something of interest... That ended up being a wildlife preserve inbetween the island and mainland. It said you could see all kinds of wildlife including alligators and dolphins. Upon pulling in the parking lot Brody asked us what we were doing and we told him we were going to find him an alligator to wrestle... his response, a VERY enthusiastic "sweet!"After walking a ways we discovered that by the time we got to the dolphin spotting area the sun would have long since set and the children would be whinning that they could not take another step. So just as we decided to turn back we passed a couple that said they spotted an alligator just a little ways up so we decided we would check him out before calling it quits...

We did end up finding him but he was hard to see and luckily for us much to far away for Brody to wrestle...Appearently we didn't have to walk any more for the whinning to set in...Sat. we were suppose to go back into Savannah and have a cook out at my cousin's. However when we first planned this vacation our lives were crazy and we wanted to go on vacation so we could sit and do nothing... so we were certainly given the opportunity to do just that when during the night and early am hours half of us came down with the stomach flu starting with Dave, then Brody and finally Amber. I am quite grateful that the other kids and I did not show any signs of it although I think the baby may have kicked it off and it did make us wonder if purhaps Kain was not car sick at all.

I ran out in the afternoon to pick up some groceries and it was of course sunny and warm. Later that day we decided taking a walk and getting some fresh air might be good for those of us that were still in good health and extremely restless, so leaving Brody asleep with Amber we took Dave with us since he was feeling better and naturally the sun that was out earlier had gone away and storm clouds were moving in but it didn't stop us anyway. After all I had also asked for an opportunity to get some cool pictures too...These are the actual beach front condos we would have LOVED to have been in...Ozzye stuck under the table...The next morning was suppose to be our leaving day and we of course had nothing but blue skies and sun shine! So we packed up and went down to the beach one last time....The boys looking for turtles in the pond outside while we pack up the truck...We tried to get a family picture but since the weather was beautiful there was actually more people than just us on the beach, it was high noon by the time we got down there, the sun was in our eyes, the kids couldn't wait to go in the water, the baby was ready for a nap and Brody had already gotten sand in his eyes! So this is the picture we got but Amber did a beautiful job taking it for us...But some of the other shots I got that day more than made up for the family picture... most of them were of Brody but I simply love these pictures...He is great to photographer because he is so animated and uninhibited with everything he does, plus he LOVES the beach... Our joke the whole time watching him is that we named him Brodric rather than just Brody because we didn't want to label him as a beach bum and wanted him to have a name he could climb the corperate latter with but clearly it didn't really matter that much because we are sure the beach is already in his blood...He was like watching an animal being released back into the wild and he has talked about returning to the beach every day since. I can't decide which I love more this one or the mud slinging shot...Of course these are so sweet as well...Me with "my" oldest and youngest children...Ozzye with his fairy god-mother...After the beach we went back to Amanda's in Savannah and decided what we would do next. We felt like we missed a whole day being sick and we did have an extra day to play around with so we made the choice to spend another night and extend our trip. Once again we were not given a longer vacation but the opportunity to take advantage of Dave's extra day off.

That evening we took a ghost tour of Savannah which was fun. Savannah is the most haunted city in the US so it was interesting to hear all the stories about who, how and why they are haunted, Kain simply loves it! Brody fell asleep during it...Amanda and Jillian...This is the house my cousin's and I swear we saw something in the top window that night...Aubriel getting into charactor, we think she kind of looks like a ghost here...Picture from the next morning saying our good-byes...Jillian by now had gotten what most of the rest of us had so she was not into the whole picture taking scene, of course Brody is picking his nose as well...Here is the actual "group picture" we ended up getting...My cousin's and I...Brody saying good-bye to his fairy god-mother...After saying good bye to my cousin and her family we had just a few more stops to make in Savannah... first on the list Angel's which probably had more to do with us extending our trip than anything... they were closed on Sunday.So we took our food back down to river street even though having Brody that close to water creeps us out...Amber's recovery took a bit longer than the rest of us so she wasn't feel'in the BBQ... too bad for her since she ended up having to put her sub back together...And then she had kids picking at hers since theirs wasn't quite what they wanted... I mean theirs were still in one piece...We got up there and Brody asked if he could jump! How we brought him back home in one piece I have no idea... well I do, we had Amber with us!Second stop on the list... the honey house for a honey latte...They have this super cute hive for the kids to play in. I want Dave to build one for the kids in the worst way!We then got back to the truck and the kids took some artistic shots while I nursed the baby... that ended up being one of Kain's shots...We dropped Amber off in Michigan on Tuesday morning and we continued up over the Mackinac Bridge to go home...Seeing this after 70 degree weather was so sad...We stopped in to my Grandma's ice cream shop for ice cream before making the last two hours home...

Now that we are back home we have much fonder memories of it than we thought we would during parts of the trip. But once again it is all how you ask for it and how one looks at it. I have been blessed with an incrediabley funny husband that can ALWAYS make me laugh even when my baby almost knocks me out not once but twice by pulling over a horribley designed bed table with only three legs on it smashing an iron lamp into my head. So after the pain subsides and the numbness sets in we can laugh together like we do so often and I feel nothing but blessed to be given the opportunity I so desperately needed to find the joy in the strangest places because I have been given exactly what I requested!

First day of spring...

Although it doesn't feel much like it outside I couldn't feel more springy on the inside! Today was Aubriel's last day at public school. After talking with her extensively about finishing out the school year and then home schooling or simply doing it after spring break she very clearly explained (with the calendar) that she did in fact want to start home schooling in the spring. So we figured why bother waiting and pulled her out. She had a great kindergarten year, she made 1 really good friend, whom hopefully she will see more of outside of school, she had an excellent teacher and most of all some fun which really is all I want for my children which is part of the reason we are pulling her. She loves learning and seems to posses so much self directed learning at this point we don't want her to lose that. Although the time she spent at school was fun she missed her baby brothers and her parents, so much so when Dave and I tried to go out by ourselves the other night she cried for us. That tells us the days are simply too long and she needs to be with her family more than she needs to "learn" in the way the state feels learning should take place.

I couldn't be happier either to have her home with us. I have spoken with more than one mom this year about their daughters struggling with other girls and friends in 4th grade and I pray my daughter will not have to deal with quite so much of that now. Gage continues to show a more positive attitude and I think he is going to enjoy Aubriel being home with him as well. Now that spring break is officially under way we get to enjoying our vacation... I can hardly wait for the beach!

Must be the Irish blood in them...

March 1st hits every year and Gage starts chomping at the bit...Not even the snow can stop him... actually it kind of added to his fun... I wonder how that is on his clubs?Brody even had to get in on the fun... His victory dance as follows...

Kain's Rockstar Hair...

Finally hair that both Kain and Dave can live with, although I don't really think Dave should have much say in it but he did put his foot down when Kain wanted dreads... even though I thought they would be cute. Oh, well this is something we all like...

Finally Chapter

Well I finally finished up How Children Fail. I kind of took my time with it and reread a lot of it since I enjoyed reading it so much. I was not only able to make sense of the struggles I was having as a parent in regards to my children's education but my own educations I received throughout my life thus far. It has put my mind at ease and enabled me to once again follow my heart rather than follow the masses, just as I did with homebirth, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, vaccinating, and many other areas of raising my children as well. I think as parents it is human nature to second guess every choice we make along the way... after all we only want what is best for our children but discovering what is best can be the biggest challenge. Hearing the other side of things can be much harder at times than blindly following what everyone else does but the pay off can be so much sweeter and just maybe if the other side of things matches that inner voice inside us it can release both ourselves and our child to truly be themselves. I have said often, of all my regrets raising my children, it is those that I made out of ignorance that haunt me the most. It is much easier to live with what could have been when you know all your options before going into it. So while this book spoke to my inner voice telling me what I knew could very well be just the thing my child needed, it encouraged me to simply try what that voice was telling me so that I will not live with regret in this area of my parenting journey. It may not be for everyone but I am happy to report that just a mere 2 and a half months into Gage's homeschooling Dave and I can see glimmers of the happy go lucky child we remember bringing into this world. He may not be able to rattle off math tables as fast as some his age and he may not be able to spell every word correctly that someone else decides he should be able to for his age but he wakes up in the morning with a smile on his face, he spends his days laughing again and goes to bed each night with expressions of love rather than tears. If this is not success I am not sure what is nor do I really care to. His spirit is finally feel to learn in a way he seems most useful to him and all of us couldn't be happier! The only regret I live with now in this area is that I did not do it sooner.

Since finishing this book and watching how much happier Gage is we have decided Aubriel will homeschool as well next year. We want to preserve her excitement for learning and fear she may not keep it through next year if she continues as Kain and Gage did. She has started showing signs of being "done" with school. She was happy to give it a try but seems to want to be home with her brothers more than at school which I couldn't be more thrilled about. Kain continues to have a great year with probably the best teacher yet. He will have this teacher again next year so we will continue to follow Kain's lead on what he feels will be best for him as far as schooling goes. We simply want learning to be fun for all our children and we feel Kain is at an age he can best decide what that way will be.

The vast differences between Kain and Gage continue to amazes us and challenge us with how to best raise and relate to each boy. The following from How Children Fail caught my attention for that very reason...

"Today Jane did one of those things that, for all her rebellious and annoying behavior in class, make her one of the best and most appealing people, young or old, that I have ever known. I was at the board, trying to explain to her a point on long division, when she said, in self-defense, "But Miss W. (her fourth grade teacher) told us that we should take the first number..." Here she saw the smallest shadow of doubt on my face. She knew instantly that I did not approve of this rule, and without so much as a pause she continued, "...it wasn't Miss W., it was someone else..." and then went on talking about long division.

I was touched and very moved. How many adults would have seen what she saw, that what she was saying about Miss W.'s teaching was, in some slight degree, lowering my estimate of Miss W.? Even more to the point, how many adults, given this opportunity to shift the blame for their difficulties onto the absent Miss W., would instantly changed their story to protect her from blame? Foe all our yammering about loyalty, not one adult in a thousand would have shown the loyalty that this little girl gave to her friend and former teacher. And she scarcely had to think to do it; for her, to defend one's friends from harm, blame, or even criticism was an instinct as natural as breathing.

Teachers and school tend to mistake good behavior for good character. What prize above all else is docility, suggestibility; the child who will do what he is told; or even better, the child that will do what is wanted without even having to be told. They value most in children what children least value in themselves. Small wonder that their effort to build character is such a failure; they don't know it when they see it. Jane is a good example. She has been a trial to everyone who has taught her. Even this fairly lenient school finds her barely tolerable; most schools long since would have kicked her out in disgrace. Of the many adults who have known her, probably very few have recognized her extraordinary qualities or appreciated their worth. Asked for an estimate of her character, most of them would probably say that it was bad. Yet, troublesome as she is, I wish that there were more children like her."

This reminds me so much of my sweet Gage. He is not the pleaser that Kain is... everyone we know talks about what a good, nice, wonderful, ect. boy Kain is and we of course know this is true of him but Gage is true to himself more than he plays the game. It is much harder for those (and I do not feel it is simply teachers and schools but other adults as well) to see that sweetness in Gage because they can't see beyond his "difficult" personality. This remains a huge struggle even for Dave and I on his upbringing but I have never for one minute felt like crushing his spirit was the way to make him a "better" child. He is wonderful just the way he is and I for one believe nurturing this is the very way to watch him grow as a person.

There is a question that was asked of the author during his years of teaching that can pretty much be asked of any parent for any topic of parenting that I will now forever ask myself. After watching a girl make more and more writing mistakes on an assignment and having to start over each and every time only to do worse on each paper she brought up....
"At that point Bill Hull asked me a question, one I should have asked myself, one we ought to all to keep asking ourselves: Where are you trying to get, and are you getting there?"

I can honestly say now with homeschooling I feel like I am getting where I am trying to get, even if that place happens to be different than someone Else's belief of where that should be!