Well, I suppose regardless of ones beliefs if you, you shall receive. This has certainly happened to me several times and it never seems more apparent to me than after the birth of one of my children and it also seems to come from the same group of people. The first time was after the birth of Brody, the baby I so desperately wanted after we had decided to "complete" our family when Aubriel was born. But I just couldn't then, I was not ready so when he was born and I suffered from PPD along with feeling over whelmed and allowing others "concerns" creep into my mind and allow me to second guess the desires of my heart I was given a light at the end of the tunnel in the form of a mother of 7, at the time (now expecting her 9th) who had walked in my shoes.
Over the last 2 years two other dear friends would join our circle and the only heartbreak between us is the distance from one another in which we live. They are a support to lean on, they are teachers for when I feel lost and they are never ending encouragement when I feel over whelmed. Really what probably all mothers need on this roller coaster called motherhood.
My latest support from them comes in the form of a website called Above Rubies. Now those of you that know Dave and I know that although I am spiritual I do not consider myself a Christian and David struggles with faith of any kind although he has said he has many times found comfort in mine. However I will read just about anything on any religion and I can usually take away something from it that I can find truth in even though I don't always share it's views.
What I do love about this site and have always admired in my dear friends is their unwavering faith. I think what has "spoiled" David's faith in anything is the hypocrisies he has seen in so many people. Even as we unconsciously hold on to the belief that something will see us through these many blessings called our children we watch as other abandon their faith to pass judgement upon us. It does offer me so much comfort to know that others struggle just as I do as a mother but still embrace their large families and would not want to change a thing but yet even continue to add to it as well. To see those that truly know how to take the bitter with the sweet and hold their sweetness above all else. They help to remind me that the desires of my heart are not "selfish" as they have many times been labeled by those than can not see the joy we find in adding to our family... even when those same joys make us want to pull our hair out. But we have yet to see the miracle of life become any less than that because of the ones that have come before them.
I guess it just never gets old and although we would be lying if we said we never once wondered the obvious "how will we manage?" Usually when we have days like this...
I can say there has never been a doubt about anything looking into the eyes of yet another miracle of ours!
Now this I found to be interesting if one really ponders it. Kind of like when I am feeling like I could do SO much better as a parent both of mine like to remind me that I am not doing as poor as I may think with their own words of encouragement. My father tells me often that his use to say to him "Kids turn out good in spite of their parents" and my mother told me the other day "when you really look at some of the kids out there these days and the choices they make you aren't really sure if you slap the kids or their parents." It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes... "We must be the change we want to see in the world."-Gandhi
Or perhaps we must also provide the change we want to see in the world.
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