To School or Not to School?

That most definitely has become thee question in the Martens' house as of late. We have exactly one full year of unschooling under our belt as of this month. It has certainly had it's ups and downs as I have tried ever so gently to honor Gage and Aubriel's needs while seizing every opportunity I could find to encourage learning. It has proven far easier with Aubriel than Gage and many days I am left wondering if it merely due to difference in personalities or because Aubriel has never had learning forced on her or even expected. Every new thought, idea, and process is completely organic and has become nothing more than the wonder of life for her. I am literally thrilled over her lust for knowledge!


However a little over a week ago it was, Brody, the four year old to first get a fire lit under him about wanting to go to school "with Kain" as he will tell all. And following his lead first came Gage and then Aubriel to start to talk about their desire to return to school. I will be completely honest when I say this left me not only in a state of shock but total fear as well. First because each of them in their own way seem to be thriving in the home school environment and second because if anything I have been holding my breath that Kain might join in rather than the rest going the other way.

My gut reaction was to simply tell them no. If one thinks about it, if 95% of the public school children went to their parents and said "you know I have been thinking I might really like to go to school from home" most of them would simply reply no, many probably with a snicker, and continue to make them go to school. Why? Because as parents we feel it is our "job" to enforce rules, now what rules and how many are completely subjective but most of us do in some form and going to school has become a HUGE standard for today's society. I mean after all it doesn't just stop at school.... aside from keeping our children out of danger and keeping them safe we all place upon them a certain amount of our beliefs onto them whether that be school, religion, politics, how we eat, ect. So if I would like to continue or even start to home school my children how would that truly differ from any other parent's choice they make for their children?

However, on the flip side of that, I took my children out of school not only because I saw that they needed something more that they were not getting from school but also because I was hoping to empower them in their own education choices. Which is exactly why we left Kain in school this last year. So I have to ask myself if this is my primary focus then I suppose I should look at sending them all back if this is actually what they want.

But yet again I wonder why I sent them at all. I never really wanted to send them in the first place and since sending Kain 5 years ago I feel like it has been an uphill battle to try and undo every bad habit they have picked up from being at school. Kain reminds me of this fact almost daily... while I hear nothing but praise about how wonderful of a student, child, human being he is from his teacher when he is at school, I can only assume (by my other children's example of course) that he has learned this from home all other things he then learns at school he opts to bring home with him. We can have thee most peaceful of days with the other four children and from the moment we pick Kain up from school until the moment they go to bed at night it is pure chaos as he picks on, antagonises and torments the younger four, for what I can only imagine is for the amusement of it all.

Now I have heard from MANY that this is simply his age... while I might give this some consideration if one could prove to me that children that have never stepped foot in a school still act as immature and petty as he does most days when he is home but the reality is, is that most of the people that make this claim are using other school children as their example! The other thing that makes this not really hold water for me is that I do not feel this is simply how my child is. Kain is much better than this behavior and I know this because I have seen better of him before he attended school and I have watched these types of antics dissipate in his siblings once they were out of a school for some time.

So given that argument, if our job as parents is to "do what is best for them, even when they don't agree simply because we are the parents" than I feel I would have no choice but to pull Kain from school. Yet even this realization gives me little comfort as I try to walk that line of parent and friend in my children's lives. We all want what is best for our children, no matter what choices we make as parents, I believe this is most parents bottom line... it is just figuring out what best actually is that can be our biggest challenge of all...